D has two more teeth-something surprising since he didn't have these two extra teeth the day before yesterday.  I am continuously amazed at how much can happen in one day.  One day no rolling, the next-no stopping.  Yesterday his two top teeth poked through, making the grand total of teeth four.  I knew they were coming, too, and I'm glad that they finally made an appearance because it makes for a much happier boy.  A happy boy who, with help from Mom, likes to "walk" towards the cat, hands outstretched and laughing.  He LOVES the cats.  Poor cats.

I don't post in here as often as I'm on here reading through communities and friends' pages.  Such a one-way experience. 

It's now a little past midnight, I'm finished with my homework for the day, Jim is snoozing on the couch, D is asleep, and I'm ready to get to bed myself.  I've been reading more and more about teaching elementary school, and since I'm getting my teacher's cert. online this would be obvious, right?  And there are articles or books I read that really get me interested and refresh my brain.  And then there are days when I don't know if this is for me.  Like tonight.  Maybe it's  because it's past midnight and I'm exhausted and I keep hearing about teachers being laid off left and right here in Orange County.   I don't think I'll stop, no way, no how.  I'm just thinking of what I can do after I get my certification-whether it's get a teaching gig, if that's even possible, or go back for more school.  I could get ECE credits (Early Childhood Ed) and go teach at a daycare (which I would LOVE and adore and just the thought of it brightens my heart) or go back and get my M.A. and become a children's librarian-also fabulous. 

Why is it I have such a hard time believing that when I fell in love with teaching and working at the child dev. center in Austin, that that love was special and unique and something I should hold on to?  How many people can go home every day with stories and ideas and so much greatness every day?  It's definitely something to think about.  But maybe tomorrow.  You know, after I sleep. 

I realize I haven't posted in what seems like ages, and that's mostly due to something called a 4 month sleep regression.  (read: not sleeping baby making sleepy momma not sleep either.)  It has something to do with a growth spurt which sucks on its own, but add teething and we've got a bundle of fun ahead of us.  sigh.  I haven't seen more than 2 hours of continuous sleep in months now and though my body is getting used to waking up every 1.5 to 2 hours, my mind still remembers that there was a time, once, long, long ago, when I got to sleep for 4, 5, hell, sometimes even 10 hours! No-surely not!  Don't people have little squirts waking them up every 2 hours grunting or farting or cooing, my favorite?  No?  Ahhh...there you go. 

Though I love the cooing in the morning.  I'll bring D to our bed, lay down, and try to nurse him back to sleep in my hazy foggy morning brain and there are days he will fall asleep for another hour.  And then there are days when he just wakes up, bright as can be, and starts to coo, so softly, staring up at me.  I'll look down and he'll just smile and coo again.  Cutest.  Thing.  Ever.  Makes up for months of not sleeping.  Mostly.

Ok.  So I write a lot about feeling nostalgia for sleep and, of course, bebe D.  Just so I remember that there is more in my day:

-I'm in school!  It's going good so far.  I've somehow managed to find time to study and read and write small papers.  I'm a big nerd so I love learning new things, buying pens and notebooks and taking copious notes.  Fun times.

-Jim bought Mario Galaxies for the Wii and is in love with it.  The music is soothing...so soothing...he's playing right now.  I don't think I'll ever understand the love between a boy and his video games.  I don't really want to. 

-Bebe D is huge, teething, and taking a nap right now.  woo!  A girl just doesn't know what to do with herself.  I think I'll sit and do a crossword. 

I was sitting here marveling at my ability to breastfeed and still have both hands to type when the little guy finished and I could unwind my legs from their crazy contortions. Yay to me, though, right? Very proud of myself right now.

Anyhow, there he was laying in my lap, sleeping the sleep of the full stomach baby-you know the one-open mouth drooling, breathing deep, arms akimbo-and he laughed! As in "heh-heh-heh." It wasn't all too audible but there was a huge grin on his face and a slight escape of breath. I am amazed! He laughs!

And the laughing is much better than the all-night grunting. Is it gas, I wonder? Whatever it is I find myself awake and sitting up, away from the cozy covers of the bed way too often to find him still asleep and not ready for feeding. Two hours of sleep only to wake up to find him and the DH still asleep? Ugh. Is it sad that I'm learning to love three hour stretches of sleep? Mmmm....sleep.

On another note Jim goes back to work tomorrow. And I officially start my time as a stay at home mommy. Holy poopie diapers, Batman! It's something I knew would come but it still feels too soon to begin. Will I be ok? What'll I do? How does this SAHM-ness work? And WHERE are the other moms around here, because I could use a few mom-friends to share horror stories about exploding diapers and gassy nights. Who else would appreciate hearing about the little Rhino's enormous toots and burps? Or celebrate the fact that I got more than 4 hours of sleep in the night?

Will have to search for moms tomorrow. Right now the little Rhino and I are going to pretend to get some sleep. Ok, he'll sleep. I'll just try.

*also posted in my new blogger blog: http://bobeesah.blogspot.com/

We're being induced on Thursday!!!!

Ok, time to calm down now.  I am so completely freaked out and excited and scared and absolutely ready to see the baby.  No, I didn't want to be induced but tests and scans have made the dr. worry.  At this point I just want us all to come back home happy, healthy and safe. 

So here we are-waiting for the baby to come on his own, or Thursday afternoon.  Whatever comes first.   This time we definitely will see the baby by the time this week is through.   Has it sunk in? Not one bit.   Ok.  Maybe a little. 

I was poked and prodded for hours on Tuesday after the Dr. was worried about my protein levels and blood pressure.  We could do nothing but wait around Wednesday trying to remain calm but couldn't help but feel restless most of the day knowing that Thursday could bring the possibility of an induction.  Which means BABY!  Ok, I didn't want an induction but as long as the baby comes out healthy I'll be happy.  More than happy!  I can't wait to see him! 

On Thursday Jim left work early and we made our way to the dr's office; with the car seat and diaper bag and overnight bag and some pillows-everything ready just in case we did have to go to the hospital.   Turns out we're doing great.  Yes, my blood pressure is on the borderline normal/high range but it's better than last time and my protein levels are fine.  Guess I was just really nervous, who knows.  They're still going to keep an eye on me and the baby and make sure that pre-eclampsia doesn't set in, so I'm back on Monday to monitor the baby and see the dr. again.  Until then I've been ordered to do nothing but rest and drink tons of water and wait for things to begin naturally.  Oh the waiting!  

I spent most of yesterday morning at the hospital getting poked and prodded when what started as a routine check-up ended up worrying the doctor enough for me to go through some tests.  No worries-the baby and I are fine, it just took three hours for them to figure that out.  The only concern they had was that my blood pressure was a little high and there was a bit of protein in my urine.  The Dr. actually said if I was at all dilated she would have wanted to induce yesterday.  (ACK!)  We didn't induce, thankfully, but they wanted to watch the baby on the external fetal heart monitor, check out the amniotic fluid with the ultrasound and get some blood drawn to check for PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension).  

The external fetal heart monitor was the easiest part-I got to sit and read horrible trash mags and listen to the baby's heartbeat.  I think he heard himself, too, and I know that's weird to say but I swear it's true!  He kept pushing out against the monitor (think large stethascope) that was attached to my stomach and moving around, doing it again and again.  The nurse was very happy to hear him move around so much and said that everything looked great.  She looked a little nonplussed about why I was there, too, which made me feel better. Then it was off to the ultrasound! The baby has plenty of fluid and all looks well so I was sent off to the lab for my blood tests.

Oh, the lab. The poor lab, they were horribly understaffed and had only one person working the back so the wait was over an hour long.  And to think I left my trashy mags with the other center. Damn.  Moral of the story? Always carry trashy mags when you're pregnant.  Anyhow, I finally got in, gave my blood, and could finally leave the hospital.  Tired and full of holes.  I met up with Jim for lunch and got to tell everyone there about the morning's fun.  Jim was incredibly worried, so it was nice to see him and hug-let him know that I'm fine.  Really. 

And that surprises me, too.  I don't want to have an induction, it is the last thing on my list of good birth plans.  But I'm just relieved beyond belief that the baby is fine.  Anything that will bring him home healthy and happy is ok with me right now.  I'm meeting the Dr. again tomorrow and if my blood pressure is still up and I still have protein in my urine we may induce before this week is through.  So wish me luck!  I'll post an update soon so you're not in the dark.  It's just amazing that we may meet him soon.  End of this week soon.  Wow. 

There are only 43 days left until my expected due date and I can feel myself getting more and more excited at the thought that soon all those little jabs and movements I can feel inside will be here soon.  Out in the world and in the light of the sun.  All the little fingers and toes, and whatever his tiny nose will look like.  I know it's probably all the hormones but it makes me tear up to think about meeting the little guy.  I can't wait! 

Oh my god we're going to have a baby!  

hehe-In other news, we'll be moving this weekend into our new apartment in Laguna Niguel.  We're getting movers, mainly because we wouldn't do it any other way, and because I not supposed to lift anything.   My blood pressure was a little high this morning when we went to the doctor's and they told me to rest so that's my goal for the next few weeks.  No more running around for me.  Yes. Resting and moving.  Very doable.  Ha! 

I cannot wait to get into the new place.  We've been holding off on buying any baby stuff until we move and once we're in we can start to get the all the furniture and fun etc.  It'll help stop all those dreams I keep having-like the one when I went into labor but then realized, duh, that we didn't have a car seat yet.  So I got up out of the hospital bed, put my clothes back on and told the nurses and doctor that we'd be back after we went shopping.  I think that's great. 

Back to resting now.

They fired my boss with only two hours left in the day.  No warning, no time to find another job, nothing.  They just told her she was let go due to "restructuring" and that today would be her last day.  She had no time to say good-bye, no time to tie things up, and they've known for a few days, if not longer.  This is not only the most disgusting, despicable, underhanded act but purely one of political and personal hatred.  It makes me incredibly sad and very sick to my stomach.  My term, thankfully, is almost over but I still don't know if i could handle a month and a half under the people who treated anyone in such a horrific way. 

So I might be putting in for an early termination after the meeting we're having with unknown people on Monday morning.  Seriously, the HR woman said she knew "they" would be meeting with us on Monday but she couldn't tell us who they were.  

I'm sick of the secrecy, the lies and the fear.  My boss was the only reason our organization was doing any good and now that she is gone there is no reason for me to stay.  I wish I could say that putting in a formal complaint would do something, but it wouldn't. 

Friday we had a movie night and watched 'Knocked Up' with a few friends.  It was fantastic.  Though I might be biased since I am pregnant and the movie had a lovely time poking fun at all the trials of pregnancy.   I will warn you that there is one very graphic part during the birth where everyone went "Ack!" and I turned a lovely shade of green.  Yeah. Birth.  Let's not think about that right now.  Let's think of better things, shall we?

Just so you all know Jim and I will be in Austin next weekend!  That is a much better thing.  We're getting in on the 9th and leaving the evening of the 12th.  So call us if you wanna get together.   I'm excited, it's our last little vacation before the baby comes and my last bday with just me and Jim.  Ack!  We have less than 4 month now before the baby is due-wow.  Yes, call us!  

I just can't wait to finally see the little Squishy. I had this dream about a month back where I saw our ultrasound and the baby was dancing about all crazy like.

 I'm just beginning to show, too, which is kind of exciting in it's own right, and all kinds of fun.  There's nothing like eating a nice, big lunch and still having room for dessert and not feeling the slightest bit bad about it.  Especially since I haven't actually gained much weight yet.  Speaking of, I'm starving.  And there's nothing in the fridge.  So why isn't there a troup of people carrying plates of good food lined up outside my door?  Shoot.  Well, a girl can dream. 


AND! We're now officially half way through the pregnancy.  (Oh my goodness.)  The baby is due September 30th and right now that feels far away and slightly impossible.  I can't believe that in 4 and a half months we'll get to meet the little Squishy.  Count toes.  Change diapers.  Sleep on my stomach.  Oh that's just me, I guess. 

Some friends had the idea to go to Medieval Times and on a whim we all met up there last night.  It was the last show of the day and I was surprised at the amount of people who went there and got completely smashed.  Here I thought it was a dorky family thing.  Oh, but it was fun.  We rooted for our knight and played along booing and cheering with the fake story line, ate chicken with our fingers and laughed most of the night at the complete silliness of it all.  It was so fake and wonderful. 

Oh, and I got the chance to show off my growing bump of a belly.  Which, I have to say, is fun to use as an excuse when pushing through a crowd of drunks with paper crowns on their heads. 

And yay for virgin strawberry daiquiris! 

I don't know what it was that did it but something woke me up at 3 a.m. and I was up for the rest of the morning.  Three hours of sleep makes a very grumpy woman, indeed.  I ended up getting to work late, but no one seemed to care.  Huzzah for small non-profits!  Worked almost non-stop all day and now I'm bak home sitting with a cup of tea.  I would read the new books I tried to start last night (The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman) but it's horrible.  Just...horrible.  Time to go through my pile of unread books, then. 

I'll try to give this day another chance but seriously all I want to do is go back to sleep.

Jim fed me pizza and empanadas all warmed up and toasty for lunch.  Yum.  And he has been very sweet and hasn't made too much fun of me watching a 'Gilmore Girls' marathon all morning.   I know I should be cleaning or doing the laundry or doing something more productive but I can't seem to find...um....socks.  Yes.  If only I had socks, I'd be able to get up.  

Isn't it April?  Isn't this the balmy, notoriously sunny SoCal? So why am I sitting on the couch wrapped in three blankets and wearing my ultimate cold-fighter-a knitted cap?  My arms are out of the protective warmth of the blankets but I figure if I can just keep typing and type fast enough it will keep the cold at bay.  Damn old building and your lack of heat. 

Maybe it's the cold but I've been so lazy lately.  But I feel so bad about it!  Every afternoon on the long drive through traffic I always feel like I should write.  It's the sun setting behind the cars in front of me, the same glare that warms up my car and makes it almost impossible to see anything but the shadows of the cars ahead of me and the golden orange and red of the sky.   But then I get home and play with the cats and eat a bite and always seem to end up on the couch watching tv.  Damn lack off resolve. 

When I look in the mirror straight on I can see the curves of my waist and hips and I feel pretty good about that.  It's feminine and good to love the curves.  And then when I turn there's this new bump there.  Just poking out-straight out-and unseen when I'm looking straight ahead.  It's like a surprise every time I turn.  Not a bad one, either. Hey! I have a bump! It's the first time I've started to look pregnant and I'm enjoying it.  

Mmm, I think I'll make some more of this feta and butternut squash raviolli.   Tasty.  The bump and I enjoyed it.  Which is so hard to find these days.

We had another appt. this morning with our lovely Obstetrician.  My favorite part is when we got to hear the heartbeat again.  Squishy was all kinds of active and kept moving about but we got to hear him/her, and that's what I love.   I know we talk with the nurse way longer than we talk with the Dr., but they're both sweet and act like good listeners so I'm happy.  The Dr. noted that I haven't gained more than a pound since our last visit, which I was actually worried about (when did gaining weight become a good thing I ask you) but she says it's fine.  In fact, she would rather I not start gaining too much weight until the middle of the second trimester.  Which would be...um...next month.  Eh. It's not that hard, really.  The baby doesn't like greasy food. Heck the baby is only interested in fresh fruit and veggies as far as I know.   Yes. I'm having a rabbit.  But at least it'll be a cute, fuzzy rabbit. 

Jim and I were married on St. Patrick's Day...you know...to celebrate our Irishness.  We held it at my Aunt's house.  My mom cooked all the food and Jim's mother made this beautiful wedding and groomsman's cake and Jim's brother took a million pictures.  My niece, Shae, was the flower girl and her sister, Ainsley and Courtney's baby Kaiya (from Austin) were the flower babies.    It was a very short and quick ceremony with a reception to follow, filled with friends and family and food and talking. 

It wasn't until most people had left that I changed back into my jeans that my family started to go crazy and we started with the rumbas and salsas and other fun dancing through the night. 

I'd show some off but I only have a few pictures from the wedding.  There are still a few more hundred that Mike, Jim's brother, took so once I get them all I'll try to post the best of them.  Jim looked gorgeous in his tux and even the venue, a living room filled with over 80 people, looked lovely.  It was a small, not perfect, but lovely and happy day.  Someone told me later that I was glowing.  I just couldn't stop smiling once I got to Jim at the archway-and he did everything he could to make me laugh, which I did a lot of that day.  I have to say it is super fun wearing a pretty dress. 
 
Now I am very tired and ready to fall asleep in front of the tv.   Think I'll hop into my pjs and snuggle under a blanket.